ஆவணக்காப்பகம்: மின்னஞ்சல் தீமையா

இங்கே சுவாரஸ்யமான வாசிப்பு என்று சில சுவாரசியமான மின்னஞ்சல் சங்கிலி அஞ்சல் அல்லது மற்ற இணைய தன்மையை ஒட்டி உள்ளன. இந்த பதிவுகள் என் படைப்புகள் உள்ளன, தெளிவாக. எங்கே முடியும், நான் அவர்களின் மூல ஒப்புக்கொள்கிறேன். இந்த துண்டுகள் நல்ல நம்பிக்கை இடப்பட்டது, அவர்கள் பொது களத்தில் என்று அனுமானித்து. நீங்கள் ஆசிரியர் இந்த துண்டுகள் எந்த இருந்தால், அல்லது எந்த காப்புரிமை மீறல் சந்தேகிக்க, ஒரு கருத்து அதை உயர்த்த மற்றும் நான் அதை சரி செய்ய சந்தோஷமாக இருப்பேன்.

சிவப்பு கோடுகள் பச்சை மை கொண்டு எழுதி

இது ஒரு வணிக வளர்ச்சி என்று வரும்போது, முத்திரை குத்துகின்றது முதலியன, நீங்கள் தொடர்ச்சியற்ற பார்க்க வேண்டும், பெட்டியில் வெளியே என்று, மற்றும் conventionality கட்டுப்படுத்தப்படும் முடியாது, வடிவியல், போன்றவை ஒளியியல்.

ஏழு செங்குத்தாக சிவப்பு கோடுகள் வெளிப்படையான பச்சை மை பயன்படுத்தி வரையவும். அல்லாத நேர்கோட்டு சிந்தனை செயல்முறை பயன்படுத்தி.

English as the Official Language of Europe

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has been accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, “கள்” will be used instead of the soft “இ”. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. மேலும், the hard “இ” will be replaced with “செய்ய”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 persent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. மேலும், al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “மற்றும்”s in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” மூலம் “z” மற்றும் “w” மூலம் “உள்ள”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “0” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou”, and similar changes vud, of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas…

A Crazy Language

This crazy language, ஆங்கிலம், is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every seven humans can speak it. More than half of the world’s books and three quarters of international mail is in English. Of all the languages, it has the largest vocabulary perhaps as many as two MILLION words. ஆயினும்கூட, நாம் அதை எதிர்கொள்ள, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?

Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who are spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (இது, நிச்சயமாக, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

[Unknown source]

Bushisms

Bush has just left the building. Perhaps the world will be a kinder, gentler place now. But it will certainly be a less funny place. For life is stranger than fiction, and Bush was funnier than any stand-up comedian. Jon Stewart is going to miss him. So will I.

Self Image

“They misunderestimated me.”
Bentonville, Arkansas, 6 நவம்பர், 2000

“I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe – I believe what I believe is right.”
Rome, 22 ஜூலை, 2001

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee – I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on… shame on you. Fool me – you can’t get fooled again.”
Nashville, Tennessee, 17 செப்டம்பர், 2002

“There’s no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.”
Washington DC, 11 கூடும், 2001

“I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.”
Nashville, Tennessee, 27 கூடும், 2004

Statemanship

“For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times.”
Tokyo, 18 பிப்ரவரி, 2002

“The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself.”
Grand Rapids, Michigan, 29 ஜனவரி, 2003

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
Washington DC, 5 ஆகஸ்ட், 2004

“I think war is a dangerous place.”
Washington DC, 7 கூடும், 2003

“The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the – the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.”
Washington DC, 27 அக்டோபர், 2003

“Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat.”
Washington DC, 17 செப்டம்பர், 2004

“நீங்கள் தெரிகிறீர்கள், one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”
CBS News, Washington DC, 6 செப்டம்பர், 2006

Education

“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”
Florence, South Carolina, 11 ஜனவரி, 2000

“Reading is the basics for all learning.”
Reston, Virginia, 28 மார்ச், 2000

“As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards.”
CNN, 30 ஆகஸ்ட், 2000

“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”
Townsend, Tennessee, 21 பிப்ரவரி, 2001

Economics

“I understand small business growth. I was one.”
New York Daily News, 19 பிப்ரவரி, 2000

“It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”
Reuters, 5 கூடும், 2000

“I do remain confident in Linda. She’ll make a fine Labour Secretary. From what I’ve read in the press accounts, she’s perfectly qualified.”
Austin, Texas, 8 ஜனவரி, 2001

“முதல், let me make it very clear, poor people aren’t necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn’t mean you’re willing to kill.”
Washington DC, 19 கூடும், 2003

Health

“I don’t think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs.”
Orlando, Florida, 12 செப்டம்பர், 2000

“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country.”
Poplar Bluff, Missouri, 6 செப்டம்பர், 2004

Internet

“Will the highways on the internet become more few?”
Concord, New Hampshire, 29 ஜனவரி, 2000

“It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber.”
Washington DC, 10 ஏப்ரல், 2002

“Information is moving. நீங்கள் தெரிகிறீர்கள், nightly news is one way, நிச்சயமாக, but it’s also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets.”
Washington DC, 2 கூடும், 2007

What the…?

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”
Saginaw, Michigan, 29 செப்டம்பர், 2000

“Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”
LaCrosse, Wisconsin, 18 அக்டோபர், 2000

“Those who enter the country illegally violate the law.”
Tucson, Arizona, 28 நவம்பர், 2005

“That’s George Washington, the first president, நிச்சயமாக. The interesting thing about him is that I read three – three or four books about him last year. Isn’t that interesting?”
Speaking to reporter Kai Diekmann, Washington DC, 5 கூடும், 2006

Leadership

“I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together.”
Bartlett, Tennessee, 18 ஆகஸ்ட், 2000

“I’m the decider, and I decide what is best.”
Washington DC, 18 ஏப்ரல், 2006

“And truth of the matter is, a lot of reports in Washington are never read by anybody. To show you how important this one is, I read it, மற்றும் [Tony Blair] read it.”
On the publication of the Baker-Hamilton Report, Washington DC, 7 டிசம்பர், 2006

“All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone.”
சான் டியாகோ, California, 25 அக்டோபர், 2007

Famous Last Words

“I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.”
Washington DC, 12 கூடும், 2008

அழகற்றவர்களை

I have been doing a bit of geeky stuff lately — writing வேர்ட்பிரஸ் கூடுதல். சரி, it is because I’m suffering from a terrible writer’s block.

நீங்கள் பார்க்கிறீர்கள், I’m supposed to be working on my next book. I foolishly promised a couple of chapters of அளவு அபிவிருத்தி கொள்கைகள் to my commissioning editor at John Wiley & Sons within a month; now I find myself writing everything other than those darned chapters! Including plugins. அதை நினைத்து வரும், writing those chapters wouldn’t be any less geeky, என்று அது?

That made me wonder… We all started off as geeks, didn’t we? No use denying it. Remember how our teachers loved us, and the sexy cheerleaders, அதே, didn’t? Later in life, due to exigencies of circumstances, we may have tried to lose our techie halo and simulate a managerial posture. ஆனாலும், in our moments of panic, we go back to our geek roots. குறைந்தது, நான் செய்கிறேன்.

You think you don’t? சரி, check out these geek jokes. If you find them funny, chances are your roots are not too different from mine.

Heisenberg was driving down the highway when he was pulled over for speeding. The officer says, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg says, “இல்லை, but I do know where I am!”

Two Hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron!” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “ஆமாம், I’m positive…”

Geek Pickup Lines:

  • Tell me of this thing you humans call [dramatic pause] love.
  • If you turn me down now, I will become more drunk than you can possibly imagine.
  • They don’t call me Bones because I’m a doctor.
  • Your name is Leslie? பார், I can spell your name on my calculator!
  • What’s a nice girl like you doing in a wretched hive of scum and villainy like this?
  • You must be Windows 95 because you got me so unstable.
  • My ‘up-time’ is better than BSD.
  • I can tell by your emoticons that you’re looking for some company.
  • Is that an iPod mini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.
  • Want to see my Red Hat?
  • If you won’t let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.
  • You had me at “Hello World.”
  • Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
  • You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.
  • By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
  • Jedi Mind Trick: “This is the geek you’re looking for.” [Waves hand]
  • You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.
  • Have you ever Googled yourself?
  • How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
  • With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
  • What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this when there’s a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.
  • I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

என்றால்:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z are represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

but A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

and B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

but look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

அப்படி, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

கூட்டம் பிங்கோ விளையாட்டு

This one is a hilarious piece I found on the Web. If you really like it, நீங்கள் வியக்கலாம் வேண்டும் — am I still doing too much techie stuff and too little management?

Ever been in a mind-numbing meeting with some MBA-type spewing forth a sequence of buzzwords he read on the back of a Business Careers for Dummies book? Print this out and when you get 7 horizontal, vertical or diagonal, shout BINGO!

இப்போது வரிசை!

Synergy Offline Strategic Fit Interface Gap Analysis Best Practice The Bottom Line
Core Business Going Forward Touch Base Revisit Game Plan Learning Curve Revert Urgently
Out of the Loop Go the Extra Mile Benchmark The Big Picture Value Added Movers and Shakers Ballpark
Proactive, not Reactive Win-Win Situation Think Outside the Box Fast Track Results Driven Empowerment Define and Sign Off
Partner Led Business Case Change Management At the End of the Day Local Feedback Ticks in the Boxes Mindset
Knock-On Effect Put this to Bed Client-Focused Quality Driven Move the Goal Posts Process Improvement Bandwidth
Facilitate Knowledge Base Downsize Rocket Science Skill Set Customer Focused Ramp Up

(This joke was found at the மின்னஞ்சல் தீமையா page at Mike’s World)

மென்சா வார்த்தை விளையாட்டு


சரி, அவர்கள் இந்த சொல்கிறார்கள் “மென்சா இண்விடேசனல்” வாஷிங்டன் போஸ்ட் இந்த வார்த்தைகளை போலவே கற்பனை ஆகிறது. ஆனால் இந்த வார்த்தைகள் — மனிதன், அவர்கள் வேடிக்கை இருக்கும்!

இங்கே மீண்டும் அகராதியில் எந்த வார்த்தையை எடுத்து வாசகர்கள் கேட்டார் வாஷிங்டன் போஸ்ட் மென்சா இண்விடேசனல் ஆகிறது, சேர்ப்பதன் மூலம் அதை மாற்ற, கழிப்பதன், அல்லது ஒரு கடிதம் மாறும், ஒரு புதிய வரையறை வழங்க.

2006 வெற்றியாளர்கள்:

  • Cashtration (n.): ஒரு வீட்டை வாங்கும் செயல், எந்த நேரத்தில், காலவரையற்ற பொருள் நிதி செயலற்ற வழங்குவதுமான.
  • Ignoranus: முட்டாள் மற்றும் ஒரு இரு நபர் *()^% $ .
  • Intaxication: ஒரு வரி பணத்தை திரும்ப பெறுவது பரவச நிலை, இது நீங்கள் தொடங்க உங்கள் பணம் இருந்தது உணர வரை நீடிக்கும்.
  • Reintarnation: ஒரு hillbilly வாழ்க்கையை திரும்பி வரும்.
  • Bozone (n.): ஊடுருவி இருந்து பிரகாசமான கருத்துக்கள் நிறுத்தப்படும் என்று முட்டாள் மக்கள் சுற்றியுள்ள பொருள்.
  • Foreploy: நீக்கம் செய்து நோக்கத்திற்காக உங்களை பற்றி எந்த தவறான.
  • Giraffiti: காழ்ப்புணர்ச்சி மிகவும் வர்ணம் பூசிய, மிக அதிக
  • Sarchasm: குத்தி புத்தி ஆசிரியர் மற்றும் அதை பெற முடியாது நபர், இடையே இடைவெளி.
  • Inoculatte: நீங்கள் தாமதமாக இயங்கும் போது நரம்புகளுக்கு காபி எடுத்து.
  • Hipatitis: டெர்மினல் coolness.
  • Osteopornosis: சிதைந்த நோய். (இந்த ஒரு கூடுதல் கடன் கிடைத்தது.)
  • ஊடகத்துறையினரைப் பாதுகாப்பது அனைவரதும்: எல்லோரும் இந்த மோசமான அதிர்வு அனுப்பும் போது அது, பின்னர் பூமியின் வெடித்துச்சிதறுகிறது அது ஒரு தீவிரமான வன்னி தான்.
  • Decafalon (n.): நீங்கள் நல்லது என்று மட்டுமே விஷயங்கள் சாப்பிடும் நாள் மூலம் பெற கடினமான நிகழ்வு.
  • Glibido: அனைத்து பேச்சு மற்றும் நடவடிக்கை.
  • Dopeler விளைவை: அவர்கள் விரைவில் நீங்கள் வரும் போது முட்டாள் கருத்துக்கள் போக்கு சிறந்த தெரிகிறது.
  • Arachnoleptic பொருத்தம் (n.): நீங்கள் தற்செயலாக ஒரு சிலந்தி வலை வழியாக நடந்து பிறகு தீவிரமான நடன தான் நிகழ்த்தப்பட்டது.
  • Beelzebug (n.): ஒரு கொசு வடிவில் சாத்தான், என்று காலை மூன்று மணிக்கு உங்கள் படுக்கையறை பெறுகிறார் மற்றும் துரத்தி முடியாது
  • Caterpallor (n.): நீங்கள் உண்ணும் பழம் அரை ஒரு புழு கண்டுபிடித்து பிறகு திரும்ப வண்ண.

Trick Question

Here’s an IQ question to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day…

A person who can’t speak wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper, and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about it first. Don’t give up too soon, or you will regret it!

Want to see the answer?

Moonwalkers

It is one of the many conspiracy theories — that the moon landing never really took place. How could the flag flutter? The pictures — were they really taken on the moon, or in a studio in Navada?

Here is a different theory. A little known fact. The photo wasn’t totally fake. It is just that NASA showed only half the picture. Check this out:
Look at the shadows below .
Have you ever noticed them before ?

Click here (or on the image) to see the whole picture!