Mensa Word Play

Okay, they say this “Mensa Invitational” by the Washington Post is just as fictional as these words. But these words — man, are they funny!

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

2006 winners are:

  • Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
  • Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an *()^%$ .
  • Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  • Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  • Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
  • Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
  • Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
  • Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
  • Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  • Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
  • Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  • Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it’s a serious bummer.
  • Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  • Glibido: All talk and no action.
  • Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  • Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
  • Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out
  • Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.


One thought on “Mensa Word Play”

  1. It’s true that there isn’t a “Mensa Invitational,” but there is indeed a weekly humor/wordplay contest in The Washington Post called The Style Invitational. And a contest from 1998 is the source of most of the words on the list above (but not, for example, “caterpallor” or “decafalon,” which — think about it — are not one-letter changes from caterpillar or decathlon).

    Much better to see the real thing — every week at . The Style Invitational is a weekly contest with unbelievably clever humor contributed by thousands of readers. It’s published every Saturday in The Post’s Style (features) section, and online every Friday afternoon at about 3:30 Eastern time.

    This week’s results (Jan. 23, 2010) were for a contest to write your own homonym or homophone — a new word that is pronounced just like an existing word — and define it.

    Some of this week’s winners (from Week 849, Jan. 23, 2010):

    Ho-maid: The role of a traditional wife. (Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)

    Hi-deaf TV: Commercials. (Steve Offutt, Arlington, Va.)

    S-Cargo: Snail Mail. (Don Hauptman, New York)

    See dozens of others just like these at invitational (click on Week 853). I hope you become regular readers and perhaps even regular contestants. Just follow the direction for each week’s new contest.

    Best, The Empress

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