Retirement — a Wife’s View

In connection with my recent retirement, my wife sent me an article (a speech given by someone on how to retire happily) which made several interesting points. But even more interestingly, it started with a funny story. Here it is:

In a small village in Kerala, a devout christian passed away. 当地牧师不在车站,,en,并请了一个邻近村庄的牧师致敬,,en,“女士们先生们,,en,这位尊敬的牧师在他面前的棺材开始,,en,“这里死了我,这是这个村庄的杰出人物,品质卓越,,en,他是一位绅士,,en,一个学者,,en,甜言蜜语,,en,脾气温和,外表宽容,,en,他慷慨大方,微笑着。”死者的遗ow大声疾呼,,en,“哦,我的上帝,,en,他们在埋错人,,en,”,,en,形式真实,,en,这位绅士用另一个故事结束了他的演讲,,en,首先神创造了牛,并说,,en,“您必须每天与农民一起去田间,,en,整日在阳光下受苦,,en,有犊牛,,en,喝牛奶帮助农民,,en, and a priest from an adjoining village was called upon to deliver the eulogy. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” began the venerable pastor with the coffin before him. “Here lies dead before me a rare human being of this village with outstanding qualities. He was a gentleman, a scholar, sweet of tongue, gentle of temper and very catholic in outlook. He was generous to a fault and ever smiling.” The widow of the deceased sprang up and screamed, “Oh my God! They are burying the wrong man!”

True to form, this gentleman concluded his speech with another story.

First God created the cow and said, “You must go with the farmer everyday to the field, and suffer under the sun all day long, have calves, give milk and help the farmer. 我给了你六十年的时间。”牛说,,en,“那肯定很难,,en,只给我二十年,,en,我退了四十年。”,,en,在第二天,,en,上帝创造了狗,并说,,en,“坐在你家门口,对陌生人吠叫,,en,我给你二十年的时间。”狗说,,en,“吠叫寿命太长,,en,我放弃十年。”,,en,在第三天,,en,上帝创造了猴子并对他说,,en,“招待人们,,en,让他们笑,,en,我给你二十年。”猴子对上帝说,,en,“多么无聊,,en,二十年来的猴子戏法,,en,只给我十年。”主同意,,en,第四天,,en,上帝创造了人,,en,他对他说,,en,“吃,,en,睡觉,,en,玩,,en,享受无所事事,,en,我会给你二十年。”,,en,男人说,,en,“只有二十年,,en,没门,,en, “That’s surely tough. Give me only twenty years. I give back forty years.”

On Day Two, God created the dog and said, “Sit by the door of your house and bark at strangers. I give you a span of twenty years.” The dog said, “Too long a life for barking. I give up ten years.”

On the third day, God created the monkey and said to him, “Entertain people. Make them laugh. I give you twenty years.” The monkey said to God, “How boring! Monkey tricks for twenty years? Give me only ten years.” The Lord agreed.

On the fourth day, God created Man. He said to him, “Eat, sleep, play, enjoy and do nothing. I will give you twenty years.”

Man said, “Only twenty years? No way! 我要拿我二十,,en,但是给我四十头牛还给我,,en,猴子归来的十个,,en,那十只狗投降了,,en,那就八十了,,en,好的,,en,上帝同意,,en,这就是为什么我们睡觉的前二十年,,en,在接下来的四十年中,我们在阳光下奴役以养家糊口,,en,在接下来的十年中,我们会用猴子的技巧来娱乐我们的孙子们,,en,在过去的十年中,我们坐在房子前,向所有人吠叫,,en,我设法将四十年的牛年减少到只有二十年,,en,希望我的猴子和狗年能获得类似的折扣,,en,幽默,,en,生活,,en,退休,,en,语言能力,,en,六月,,en,在八十年代末离开印度之前,,en,我可以说一些印地语作为我的第三语言,,en,英语是第二语言,,en,张贴标记的马拉雅拉姆语,,en,我的母语,,en, but give me the forty the cow gave back, the ten that the monkey returned, and the ten the dog surrendered. That makes it eighty. Okay?” God agreed.

That is why for the first twenty years we sleep, play, enjoy and do nothing.
For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren.
And for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

Well, I managed to cut down my forty cow-years to a mere twenty. Here’s hoping that I will get similar discounts on my monkey and dog years!

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