Neil and Me

When Your Child is as Big as You

My mom used to say that when your child is as big as you, you have to treat them with respect. What she actually said was that you had to address them using a respectful form of “you,” which doesn’t make any sense in English, but may work in Hindi or French. It worked poetically well in Malayalam. Saya teringatkan mutiara kebijaksanaan ibu ini baru-baru ini ketika saya menonton filem bersama anak saya,,en,keibubapaan,,en,Percanggahan,,en,Hidup ini penuh dengan percanggahan,,en,Saya menghadiri retret penyelidikan mengenai amalan perhatian dan kontemplatif di tempat yang indah,,en,Institut Garrison,,en,Saya belajar banyak perkara menarik,,en,dan berjumpa dengan banyak,,en,berfikiran seperti dan orang yang cemerlang,,en,jenis orang dengan siapa saya dapat berbual mendalam mengenai hakikat realiti yang tidak nyata,,en,tidak seperti kebanyakan orang dari lapisan masyarakat yang lain dengan sopan dan bijaksana meminta maaf apabila saya agak tidak nyata,,en,kematian,,en,bertafakur,,en,Pengalaman Instruksional,,en,Saya baru sahaja tamat penggal pertama sebagai profesor di Universiti Pengurusan Singapura,,en,Saya mengajar kursus sarjana yang dipanggil Komputer sebagai Alat Analisis,,en.

The protagonist in the movie, who felt like a human punching bag, was feeling low and getting drunk in a bar. And then he gets snubbed by a stranger, and walks away muttering something like, “Do I have an Everlast sign pasted on my forehead?”

My son, accurately guessing that I wouldn’t have gotten the reference, explained to me that Everlast was a boxing brand, and that they had punching bags with the name prominently painted on them. He had seen them in his Muay Thai gym. I remembered then that this was exactly the kind of tidbit that I would have loved to share with my dad, while watching a movie or a tennis match or whatever. The wheel had come full circle. Almost.

I sayalmostbecause I also remembered a time when the references would become just too many to share, and the sons would turn quiet. In the next five or so short years, I can imagine that my son will also find it overwhelming to keep explaining every little reference that flies past me. He also will turn more and more silent. While dreading that inevitable age of silence, I enjoy this moment for now, when his repertoire of interesting tidbits has grown beyond mine. And remember some other things that I wrote a while ago, in a moment of melancholy inspiration.

The Sony radio plays on, impervious to these doleful musings, with young happy voices dishing out songs and jokes for the benefit of a new generation of yuppie commuters full of gusto and eagerness to conquer a world. Little do they know — it was all conquered many times over during the summers of yester years with the same gusto and passion. The old vanguards step aside willingly and make room for the children of new summers.

The new generation has different tastes. They hum to different iTunes on their iPods. This beautiful radio receiver, with most of it seventeen odd short wave bands now silent, is probably the last of its kind. The music and jokes of the next generation have changed. Their hair-do and styles have changed. But the new campaigners charge in with the same dreams of glory as the ones before them. Theirs is the same gusto. Same passion.