Spousal Indifference — Do We Give a Damn?

After a long day at work, you want to rest your exhausted mind; may be you want to gloat a bit about your little victories, or whine a bit about your little setbacks of the day. The ideal victim for this mental catharsis is your spouse. But the spouse, in today’s double income families, is also suffering from a tired mind at the end of the day.

The conversation between two tired minds usually lacks an essential ingredient — the listener. And a conversation without a listener is not much of a conversation at all. 这是仅将2个独白,将最终产生一个更加挫折抱怨,,en,配偶的冷漠,,en,冷漠是不是在嘲笑小事,,en,这是爱的对立面,,en,如果我们相信埃利·韦泽尔,,en,所以我们必须要警惕的冷漠,如果我们想拥有幸福在一杆,,en,一个没有爱的生活很少是幸福的,,en,哪里有时间,,en,Â问我们新加坡人,,en,太忙了,形成一个完整的句子,,en,在我们所有的世俗烦恼的心脏,,en,我们只有,,en,在一天的时间就明天之前自带的充电,,en,抹杀了一天的我们所有的高贵内涵,,en,而另一个周期开始,,en,大轮的另一个必然革命,,en,和老鼠赛跑的推移,,en,与老鼠赛跑麻烦的是,,,en,即使你赢了,,en,你依然是一只老鼠,,en,我们如何打破这种恶性循环,,en — spousal indifference.

Indifference is no small matter to scoff at. It is the opposite of love, if we are to believe Elie Weisel. So we do have to guard against indifference if we want to have a shot at happiness, for a loveless life is seldom a happy one.

“Where got time?” ask we Singaporeans, too busy to form a complete sentence. Ah… 时间! At the heart of all our worldly worries. We only have 24 hours of it in a day before tomorrow comes charging in, obliterating all our noble intentions of the day. And another cycle begins, another inexorable revolution of the big wheel, and the rat race goes on.

The trouble with the rat race is that, 在它的结束, even if you win, you are still a rat!

How do we break this vicious cycle? 我们可以通过倾听而不是谈论启动,,en,倾听并不容易,因为它听起来,,en,我们平时听心理过滤器的一大堆开启,,en,不断地判断并处理我们听到的一切,,en,我们的标签进入报表一样重要,,en,不重要的,,en,可怜,,en,我们还会存储他们离开,在我们疲倦的大脑适当的权重,,en,忽略了一个重要的事实,,en,扬声器的标签可能是,,en,而且往往是,,en,完全不同,,en,由于这种潜在的贴错标签,,en,可能是什么日子为你的配偶或伴侣的最重要的胜利还是心痛可能会意外地得到拖放到你的心灵的回收站,,en,避免这种无意的残酷,,en,关掉你的过滤器,并与你的心脏听,,en,至于韦斯利·斯奈普斯建议伍迪·赫雷尔森在白人不能跳,,en,听她的,,en,或者他,,en. Listening is not as easy as it sounds. We usually listen with a whole bunch of mental filters turned on, constantly judging and processing everything we hear. We label the incoming statements as important, 有用, trivial, pathetic, 等. And we store them away with appropriate weights in our tired brain, ignoring one crucial fact — that the speaker’s labels may be, and often are, completely different.

Due to this potential mislabeling, what may be the most important victory or heartache of the day for your spouse or partner may accidentally get dragged and dropped into your mind’s recycle bin. Avoid this unintentional cruelty; turn off your filters and listen with your heart. As Wesley Snipes advises Woody Herrelson in White Men Can’t Jump, listen to her (or him, 视情况可以是。,,en,它支付练习这样一个不带偏见的和无条件的听音风格,,en,它协调了与你的配偶的优先级,拉你远离配偶冷漠的深渊,,en,但是这需要多年的实践,制定适当的听力技巧,,en,并继续耐心和刻意将其应用,,en,答:我们可能会问,,en,莱塔€™的化妆时间,,en,或做最好的那一点点时间,我们得到,,en,当日子加起来几个月甚至几年,,en,我们可以回顾历史,责问,,en,哪里是我们在生活失去了生命,,en,几乎是不可思议的小,,en,如果八秒,我们是非常幸运的,,en,如果定价模式再次推迟您的交易员可能会咬你的头,,en,唐娜€™吨你得到它,,en,压力和形而上学,,en,意识到我们的存在是一个眼睛的时间仅仅是眨眼,,en)

It pays to practice such an unbiased and unconditional listening style. It harmonizes your priorities with those your spouse and pulls you away from the abyss of spousal apathy. But there is no such thing as a free lunch. It takes years of practice to develop the proper listening technique, and continued patience and deliberate effort to apply it.

“Where got time?” we may ask. 好, let’s make time, or make the best of what little time we got. 否则, when days add up to months and years, we may look back and wonder, where is the life that we lost in living?