Bush has just left the building. Perhaps the world will be a kinder, gentler place now. But it will certainly be a less funny place. For life is stranger than fiction, and Bush was funnier than any stand-up comedian. Jon Stewart is going to miss him. So will I.

Self Image

They misunderestimated me.
Bentonville, Arkansas, 6 November, 2000

I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believeI believe what I believe is right.
Rome, 22 July, 2001

There’s an old saying in TennesseeI know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennesseethat says, fool me once, shame onshame on you. Fool meyou can’t get fooled again.
Nashville, Tennessee, 17 September, 2002

There’s no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.
Washington DC, 11 May, 2001

I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.
Nashville, Tennessee, 27 May, 2004


For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times.
Tokyo, 18 February, 2002

The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself.
Grand Rapids, Michigan, 29 January, 2003

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
Washington DC, 5 August, 2004

I think war is a dangerous place.
Washington DC, 7 May, 2003

The ambassador and the general were briefing me on thethe vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice.
Washington DC, 27 October, 2003

Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat.
Washington DC, 17 September, 2004

“You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.
CBS News, Washington DC, 6 September, 2006


Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”
Florence, South Carolina, 11 January, 2000

Reading is the basics for all learning.
Reston, Virginia, 28 March, 2000

As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards.
CNN, 30 August, 2000

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
Townsend, Tennessee, 21 February, 2001


I understand small business growth. I was one.
New York Daily News, 19 February, 2000

It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.
Reuters, 5 May, 2000

I do remain confident in Linda. She’ll make a fine Labour Secretary. From what I’ve read in the press accounts, she’s perfectly qualified.
Austin, Texas, 8 January, 2001

“First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren’t necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn’t mean you’re willing to kill.
Washington DC, 19 May, 2003


I don’t think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs.
Orlando, Florida, 12 September, 2000

Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country.
Poplar Bluff, Missouri, 6 September, 2004


Will the highways on the internet become more few?”
Concord, New Hampshire, 29 January, 2000

It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber.
Washington DC, 10 April, 2002

Information is moving. You know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it’s also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets.
Washington DC, 2 May, 2007

What the…?

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
Saginaw, Michigan, 29 September, 2000

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
LaCrosse, Wisconsin, 18 October, 2000

Those who enter the country illegally violate the law.
Tucson, Arizona, 28 November, 2005

That’s George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read threethree or four books about him last year. Isn’t that interesting?”
Speaking to reporter Kai Diekmann, Washington DC, 5 May, 2006


I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together.
Bartlett, Tennessee, 18 August, 2000

I’m the decider, and I decide what is best.
Washington DC, 18 April, 2006

And truth of the matter is, a lot of reports in Washington are never read by anybody. To show you how important this one is, I read it, and [Tony Blair] read it.
On the publication of the Baker-Hamilton Report, Washington DC, 7 December, 2006

All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone.
San Diego, California, 25 October, 2007

Famous Last Words

I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.
Washington DC, 12 May, 2008