标记档案: 工作与生活的平衡

An Instructional Experience

I just finished my first term as a professor at Singapore Management University. I taught an undergraduate course called Computer as an Analysis Tool, which is on business modelling and data-driven decision support. I had about 130 学生, in three sections of three classroom hours each per week. I have to say the whole thing was a very enriching experience. 当然, the reasons behind this statement will be expounded on, theorized and hypothesized – this is Unreal Blog, 毕竟.

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内部和外部成功案例

成功可以是内部的或外部. 外部的成功是很容易在金钱和物质财富来衡量. 内部的一个衡量少情溢于言表尺度上, 像幸福, 等心态平和. 外部的成功与外向特质, 像清晰度, 并且依赖于别人对你的看法. 内部1, 另一方面, 要看你怎么想自己. 它是由东西职责, 荣誉等. 混乱之一,另一个导致误解,如识别与快乐赚钱, 例如. 你需要一个为其他, 但他们肯定是不一样的.

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成功的外形尺寸

金钱只是一个维度沿着成功,可以定义. 还有很多其他的, 如运动, 音乐, 艺术, 演技, 政治, 专业和喜欢吐字更抽象的东西, 软技能, 慈善事业, 智慧, 知识等. 卓越的其中任何一个可以被认为是我们的成功. 成功是容易被发现 - 看看名人中的任何一个,问自己,为什么你认识他们. 答案通常是成功的要素之一 - 和名利的副产品.

卓越在任何领域可以转化为金钱, 这就是艾迪费尔逊在金钱的颜色会告诉年轻球员池. 这个转换性往往导致我们误以为金钱为衡量成功, 哪, 顺便说说, 是前面提到的电影的主题. 对电影的结尾, 当费尔逊意识到有更多的生命比金钱, 他说:, “我只是想要你的最好的一场比赛。”能挂的最好的一场比赛任何人都可以抛出任何领域的卓越; 它必须被算作成功. 这卓越大概是古希腊人称之为美德.

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成功的定义

我们都希望成功的人生. 什么是成功,对我们意味着? 因为成功是人生的目标, 当它没有达到, 我们感到失望. 我们再, 说白, 不成功. 但这个词的成功可以容纳任何内. 所以,如果你不知道成功是什么, 失望是不可避免的. 我们真的需要把它定义.

让我们通过成功的几个共同的定义,看看我们是否可以从中得出任何结论. 通过这一系列的帖子的结尾, 我希望给你一个很好的定义,将让你在生活中成功的. 你还能要求一个博客?

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你是一个内向?

Here is a simple 20-question quiz to see if you are an introvert or an extrovert. Introverts tend to agree with most of these statements. So if you get a score of close to 100%, you are a confirmed introvert, which is not a bad thing. You are likely to be a quiet, contemplative type with strong family ties and a generally balanced outlook in life. 另一方面, if you get close to 0%, congratulations, I see stock options in your future. And you are a party animal and believe that life is supposed to be wall-to-wall fun, which it will be for you. I’m not too sure of those in the middle though.

These questions are from Susan Cain’s best seller, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, and a prelude to my review of it. The questions are copyrighted to Cain, and are reproduced here with the understanding that it constitutes “fair use.” If you have any concerns about it, 随时联系我.

是你的, 现在矿

I feel I have lived through an era of great changes. The pace of change can seem accelerated if you travel or emigrate because various geographical regions act as different slices in time. 我有益处 (或不幸) 多emigrations. 与, 再加上我多年的进步, 我感觉好像我已经看到了很多. 大部分我所看到的让我充满了悲观失望的预感. 也许这是一个过于愤世嫉俗的心态仅仅是悲观的特征, 或许这是我们的全球道德标准的真实衰变.

从积极的一面, 变化的速度确实是速度与激情. 这是你喜欢的那种变化 — 你知道, 乙烯假脱机磁带盒,MP3到iPod样. 或陆线到卫星细胞的Skype到Twitter样. 然而, 伴随着这种积极和明显的轨迹变化, 有一个阴险缓慢和麻烦的赛道上我们爬起来. 它是n这个背景下,我想重用青蛙在-A-锅的过度使用寓言.

如果你把一只青蛙在热水中, 它会跳出锅,并保存它的皮肤. 但是,如果您将在冷水中的青蛙, 慢慢升温锅, 也不会感觉到变化,熬死. 变化的缓慢是致命的. 因此,让我与夸大妄想狂的青蛙; 请允许我强调了不健康的变化累积在我们身边. 你看, 同时,我们正在经历的技术奇迹, 还有是在我们的社会和政治存在各方面的传播其触角经济或金融的噩梦, transfixing一切都发生在其副般的抓地力. 慢慢. 很慢. 因为这对我们无形的掌握, 每iPod的我们买, 我们 (中产阶级) 取一两块钱的非常差,给它的非常丰富. 我们不这么认为,因为我们有些人赚几分钱的过程中. 苹果店加盟使得几毛钱, 对员工的最月获得令牌加薪, 苹果开发者可以享受一个不错的假期, 或高级行政人员可能会得到一个新的喷气, 该国的经济进入了一个档次, 纳斯达克 (所以每个人的养老金) 去了一小部分 — 一切都是幸福的, 右边?

好, 还有就是包装材料的这个小问题,可能会在什么地方杀了树的一部分, 在巴西, 也许, 那里的人不知道这些树木属于他们. 污染可能是一点点逃进空气或在中国河流的地方,当地人都没有意识到,这些资源是他们的传家宝. 可能有一些中等毒性的垃圾在非洲填埋场结束了某处,他们还没有完全掌握土地所有权的概念. 它可能花费在班加罗尔开发人员或呼叫中心的姑娘在马尼拉一两个小时,比它应该更多,因为他们不知道,他们的时间是一种资源买低,在市场上销售的高,他们看不到或不知道的. 从这些遥远的地方和幻象的人,我们拿起一两块钱,并传递给等距离企业库房及股市. 我们需要的不是来自未知的业主我们养活看不见球员贪婪. 和, 喜欢 米洛明德宾德 会说, 每个人都有一个份额. 这是现代资本主义企业的时代, 在那里,我们都变得微小的齿轮在一个巨大的车轮,特别无情地轧​​上无处, 但是擦掉多在此过程中.

资本主义作为一种经济意识形态的问题是,它是非常不受反对现. 只有通过意识形态的冲突可以某种形式的平衡出现. 每一个冲突, 顾名思义, 需要对手, 至少有两个人. 也是如此的思想斗争. 斗争是资本主义和共产主义之间 (还是社会主义, 我不知道的区别). 前者说,我们要裁员了市场,让贪婪和自私自生自灭. 好, 如果你不喜欢的声音 “贪婪和自私,” 试试 “雄心和驱动器。” 它像自由和民主联系起来的话, 这 “放任” 思想一拉亚当·斯密是一个成功的公式.

站在另一个角是相对的思想, 它说,我们应该控制的资金和资源流向, 和传播快乐. 不幸的是这种意识形态得到了难听的话像极权主义有关, 官僚主义, 大屠杀, 杀柬埔寨等领域. 难怪它失去了, 保存这个经济强国称为中国. 但是,中国的胜利是没有任何安慰的社会主义阵营,因为中国通过重新界定社会主义或共产主义从根本上意味着资本主义做到了. 因此,资本主义的胜利, 所有意图和目的, 扣篮. 以胜利者属于历史的战利品. 所以, 资本主义的社会 - 政治 - 经济思想享有不错的话就像自由的盈盈协会, 平等机会, 民主等。, 而共产主义是一个失败的实验退居 “失败者” 意识形态,如法西斯主义的类别, 纳粹主义和其他邪恶的东西. 因此,资本主义和占领墙街头运动之间的战斗是可怜不对称.

2旗鼓相当的对手之间的战斗是很好看; 说, 德约科维奇和费德勒之间的匹配. 另一方面, á “比赛” 与费德勒和我将是令人兴奋的只属于我 — 如果这. 如果你是为暴力娱乐, 2重物之间的拳击比赛将是有趣的东西看. 但一个壮汉的拳击手击败的生活一大跳的2岁才会充满你的反抗和厌恶 (这类似于91年海湾战争期间,我有感觉).

不用担心, 我不会防守或试图重振社会主义这个博客, 因为我不认为一个中央控制的经济仍然可以正常工作. 我担心的是,资本主义没有一个旗鼓相当的对手,现在. 难道不应该担心你,以及? 公司资本主义跳动的生活一大跳一切,一个可以称之为体面的人. 如果我们忽略了,学会爱我们的厌恶,只是因为我们得到了一个分享?

照片由 Byzantine_K cc

滑稽, Annoying and Embarrassing

Now it is officialwe become embarrassing, ridiculous and annoying when our first-born turns thirteen. The best we can hope to do, evidently, is to negotiate a better deal. If we can get our thirteen year old to drop one of the three unflattering epithets, we should count ourselves lucky. We can try, “I may embarrass you a bit, but I do annoy you and I am certainly not ridiculous!” This apparently was the deal this friend of mine made with his daughter. Now he has to drop her a block away from her school (so that her friends don’t have to see him, duh!), but he smiles the smile of a man who knows he is neither annoying nor ridiculous.

I did a bit worse, 我认为. “You are not annoying; you are not always ridiculous and you are not 完全 embarrassing. 好, not always,” was the best I could get my daughter to concede, giving me a 50% pass grade. My wife fared even worse though. “哦, she is SOOO ridiculous and always annoys me. Drives me nuts!” making it a miserable 33% fail grade for her. To be fair though, I have to admit that she wasn’t around when I administered the test; her presence may have improved her performance quite a bit.

但严重的是, why do our children lose their unquestioning faith in our infallibility the moment they are old enough to think for themselves? I don’t remember such a drastic change in my attitude toward my parents when I turned thirteen. It is not as though I am more fallible than my parents. 好, may be I am, but I don’t think the teenager’s reevaluation of her stance is a commentary on my parenting skills. May be in the current social system of nuclear families, we pay too much attention to our little ones. We see little images of ourselves in them and try to make them as perfect as we possibly can. Perhaps all this well-meaning attention sometimes smothers them so much that they have to rebel at some stage, and point out how ridiculously annoying and embarrassing our efforts are.

May be my theory doesn’t hold much water — 毕竟, this teenage phase change vis-a-vis parents is a universal phenomenon. And I am sure the degree of nuclear isolation of families and the level of freedom accorded to the kids are not universal. Perhaps all we can do is to tune our own attitude toward the teenagersattitude change. 嘿嘿, I can laugh with my kids at my ridiculous embarrassments. But I do wish I had been a bit less annoying though

在办公室生存指南

Let’s face it — 人 job hop. They do it for a host of reasons, be it better job scope, nicer boss, and most frequently, fatter paycheck. The grass is often greener on the other side. Really. Whether you are seduced by the green allure of the unknown or venturing into your first pasture, you often find yourself in a new corporate setting.

In the unforgiving, dog-eat-dog corporate jungle, you need to be sure of the welcome. 更重要的是, you need to prove yourself worthy of it. 不要害怕, I’m here to help you through it. And I will gladly accept all credit for your survival, if you care to make it public. But I regret that we (this newspaper, me, our family members, dogs, lawyers and so on) cannot be held responsible for any untoward consequence of applying my suggestions. Come on, you should know better than to base your career on a newspaper column!

This disclaimer brings me naturally to the first principle I wanted to present to you. Your best bet for corporate success is to take credit for all accidental successes around you. 例如, if you accidentally spilled coffee on your computer and it miraculously resulted in fixing the CD-ROM that hadn’t stirred in the last quarter, present it as your innate curiosity and inherent problem solving skills that prompted you to seek an unorthodox solution.

But resist all temptation to own up to your mistakes. Integrity is a great personality trait and it may improve your karma. 但, take my word for it, it doesn’t work miracles on your next bonus. Nor does it improve your chances of being the boss in the corner office.

If your coffee debacle, 例如, resulted in a computer that would never again see the light of day (哪, you would concede, is a more likely outcome), your task is to assign blame for it. Did your colleague in the next cubicle snore, or sneeze, or burp? Could that have caused a resonant vibration on your desk? Was the cup poorly designed with a higher than normal centre of gravity? 你看, a science degree comes in handy when assigning blame.

但严重的是, your first task in surviving in a new corporate setting is to find quick wins, for the honeymoon will soon be over. In today’s workplace, who you know is more important than what you know. So start networking — start with your boss who, presumably, is already impressed. He wouldn’t have hired you otherwise, would he?

Once you reach the critical mass in networking, switch gears and give an impression that you are making a difference. I know a couple of colleagues who kept networking for ever. Nice, gregarious folks, they are ex-colleagues now. All talk and no work is not going to get them far. 好, it may, but you can get farther by identifying avenues where you can make a difference. And by actually making a bit of that darned difference.

Concentrate on your core skills. Be positive, and develop a can-do attitude. Find your place in the corporate big picture. What does the company do, how is your role important in it? 有时, people may underestimate you. No offence, but I find that some expats are more guilty of underestimating us than fellow Singaporeans. Our alleged gracelessness may have something to do with it, but that is a topic for another day.

You can prove the doubters wrong through actions rather than words. If you are assigned a task that you consider below your level of expertise, don’t fret, look at the silver lining. 毕竟, it is something you can do in practically no time and with considerable success. I have a couple of amazingly gifted friends at my work place. I know that they find the tasks assigned to them ridiculously simple. But it only means that they can impress the heck out of everybody.

Corporate success is the end result of an all out war. You have to use everything you have in your arsenal to succeed. All skills, however unrelated, can be roped in to help. Play golf? Invite the CEO for a friendly. Play chess? Present it as the underlying reason for your natural problem solving skills. Sing haunting melodies in Chinese? Organize a karaoke. Be known. Be recognized. Be appreciated. Be remembered. Be missed when you are gone. 在一天结束时, what else is there in life?

如何友好是太友好?

We all want to be the boss. At least some of us want to be the big boss at some, hopefully not-too-distant, future. It is good to be the boss. 然而, it takes quite a bit to get there. It takes credentials, maturity, technical expertise, people skills, communication and articulation, not to mention charisma and connections.

Even with all the superior qualities, being a boss is tough. Being a good boss is even tougher; it is a tricky balancing act. One tricky question is, how friendly can you get with your team?

乍一看, this question may seem silly. Subordinates are human beings too, worthy of as much friendliness as any. Why be stuck up and act all bossy to them? The reason is that friendship erodes the formal respect that is a pre-requisite for efficient people management. 例如, how can you get upset with your friends who show up thirty minutes late for a meeting? 毕竟, you wouldn’t get all worked up if they showed up a bit late for a dinner party.

If you are friends with your staff, and too good a boss to them, you are not a good boss from the perspective of the upper management. If you aspire to be a high powered and efficient boss as viewed from the top, you are necessarily unfriendly with your subordinates. This is the boss’s dilemma.

From the employee’s perspective, if your boss gets too friendly, it is usually bad news. The boss will have your hand phone number! And an excuse to call you whenever he/she feels like it.

Another unfortunate consequence of accidental cordiality is unrealistic expectations on your part. You don’t necessarily expect a fat bonus despite a shoddy performance just because the boss is a friend. But you would be a better human being than most if you could be completely innocent of such a wishful notion. And this tinge of hope has to lead to sour disappointment because, if he your boss is friendly with you, he/she is likely to be friendly with all staff.

By and large, bosses around here seem to work best when there is a modicum of distance between them and their subordinates. One way they maintain the distance is by exploiting any cultural difference that may exist among us.

If you are a Singaporean boss, 例如, and your staff are all expatriate Indians or Chinese, it may be a good thing from the distance angle — cultural and linguistic differences can act as a natural barrier toward unwarranted familiarity that may breed contempt.

This immunity against familiarity, whether natural or cultivated, is probably behind the success of our past colonial masters. Its vestiges can still be seen in management here.

The attitude modulation when it comes to the right amount of friendship is not a prerogative of the bosses alone. The staff have a say in it too. As a minor boss, I get genuinely interested in the well-being of my direct reports, especially because I work closely with them. I have had staff who liked that attitude and those who became uncomfortable with it.

The ability to judge the right professional distance can be a great asset in your and your team’s productivity. 然而, it cannot be governed by a set of thumb rules. Most of the time, it has to be played by ear and modulated in response to the changing attitudes and situations. That’s why being a good boss is an art, not an exact science.