My father passed away early this morning. For the past three months, he was fighting a heart failure. But he really had little chance because many systems in his body had started failing. 彼がいた 76.

I seek comfort in the fact that his memories live on. His love and care, and his patience with my silly, childhood questions will all live on, not merely in my memories, hopefully in my actions as well.

Perhaps even the expressions on his face will live on for longer than I think.

Dad and NeilDeath is as much a part of life as birth. Anything that has a beginning has an end. So why do we grieve?

We do because death stands a bit outside our worldly knowledge, beyond where our logic and rationality apply. So the philosophical knowledge of the naturalness of death does not always erase the pain.

しかし、痛みはどこから来るのでしょうか。,,en,確かな答えはありませんが、これらの質問のうちの1つです,,en,そして私は私が提供する私の推測だけを持っています,,en,私たちが小さな赤ちゃんだったとき,,en,私たちの両親,,en,または両親を演じた人,,en,役割,,en,私たちと私たちの確かな死との間に立った,,en,私たちの幼児の心はおそらく同化した,,en,論理と合理性の前に,,en,私たちの両親は常に私たち自身の目的と向き合う,,en,おそらく遠い,,en,しかし確かに死んだ,,en,この防護力場を取り除くと,,en,私たちの幼児はおそらく死ぬ,,en,親の死は、おそらく私たちの無実の最後の終わりです,,en,痛みの起源を知ることはそれを緩和するのにほとんど役に立ちません,,en,それを扱う私のトリックは、パターンと対称性が存在しないところを探すことです。,,en,本当の物理学者のように,,en,死は逆に生まれたばかりの誕生です,,en,一つは悲しいです,,en,もう一人は幸せです,,en,完全な対称性,,en? It is one of those questions with no certain answers, and I have only my guesses to offer. When we were little babies, our parents (or those who played the parents’ role) stood between us and our certain death. Our infant mind perhaps assimilated, before logic and and rationality, that our parents will always stand face-to-face with our own end — distant perhaps, but dead certain. With the removal of this protective force field, the infant in us probably dies. A parent’s death is perhaps the final end of our innocence.

Dad and NeilKnowing the origin of pain is little help in easing it. My trick to handle it is to look for patterns and symmetries where none exists — like any true physicist. Death is just birth played backwards. One is sad, the other is happy. Perfect symmetry. 誕生と人生はただの星のほこりと意識的な存在との合体です,,en,そして必要な崩壊によって星の塵に戻る,,en,ほこりからほこりまで,,en,無数の死と比較して,,en,と出生,,en,それはこの世で私たちの周りで毎秒起こります,,en,一人の死は本当に何もない,,en,多対一のパターン、そして無数の多パターン,,en,私たちはみな意識の小さな小滴です,,en,とても小さいので私たちは何もしない,,en,私たちがすべてであるほど大きなものの一部,,en,これが私が見つけようとしていたパターンです。,,en,宇宙が構成されているものと実質的に同じもので構成されている,,en,私達は私達がいる塵に戻る,,en,あまりにも霊的にも,,en,単なる水滴は未知の海と融合する,,en,さらにいっそう進む,,en,すべての意識,,en,スターダストとすべてのもの,,en,これらはすべて私の心に残る単なる幻想的な構成要素です,,en,私の脳,,en; and death the necessary disintegration back into star dust. From dust to dust… Compared to the innumerable deaths (and births) that happen all around us in this world every single second, one death is really nothing. Patterns of many to one and back to countless many.

We are all little droplets of consciousness, so small that we are nothing. まだ, part of something so big that we are everything. Here is a pattern I was trying to find — materially made up of the same stuff that the universe is made of, we return to the dust we are. So too spiritually, mere droplets merge with an unknowable ocean.

Going still further, all consciousness, spirituality, star dust and everything — these are all mere illusory constructs that my mind, my brain (これもまた幻想に他ならない,,en,私のために作成します,,en,だからこの悲しみと痛みです,,en,幻想はいつの日か止まる,,en,この小さな液滴の知識がすべての匿名の海と融合すると、宇宙と星は存在しなくなるでしょう。,,en,痛みと悲しみもやむ,,en,やがて,,en,意識的な存在,,en) creates for me. So is this grief and pain. The illusions will cease one day. Perhaps the universe and stars will cease to exist when this little droplet of knowledge merges with the anonymous ocean of everything. The pain and grief also will cease. In time.


11 thoughts on “Death of a Parent

  1. Dear Manoj, I feel my self lucky to have got connected to your Unreal Blog. I thoroughly enjoy what you write in good English, logically coherent concepts and scientifically lucid. What surprises me is that, being a man of business, how you could be so actively interested in questions that pertain realms that are far away from it. とにかく, what you write is wonderfully appealing to my mind. ありがとう. Will keep in touch. Zach.

  2. ピングバック: Carnival of Positive Thinking
  3. ありがとう, I lost my mom June 21,2009 I’m 50 with out parent’s. My mom was 82. I been doing Zen for over 15 years i still need feedback from others. It’s the love and compassion,kindness, from others that keeps me strong. Zen and A.A. 12 steps of being sober for 12 年. I sit in zen and open my heart up to the love she has shown me as a child, teen, adult . And be one with her carry a pic. in my heart of her as i go on in life living the way she rise me. ありがとう, so much Rory J. Corsiglia,Foster,city,ca

    1. Dear Rory,

      My heartfelt condolences for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. Hope you find peace and comfort among your friends and family.

      take care and thank you for sharing your thoughts here,
      – Manojさん