카테고리 아카이브: 회사 생활

딜버트 같은 생각

Hard Work

One argument for big bonuses is that the executives work hard for it and earn it fair and square. It is true that some of these executives spend enormous amount of time (up to 10 에 14 hours a day, according the AIG executive under the spotlight here). 하지만, do long hours and hard work automatically make us “those who deserve the best in life,” as Tracy Chapman puts it?

I have met taxi drivers in Singapore who ply the streets hour after owl-shift hour before they can break even. Apparently the rentals the cabbies have to pay are quite high, and they end up working consistently longer than most executives. Farther beyond our moral horizon, human slum dogs forage garbage dumps for scraps they can eat or sell. Back-breaking labour, I imagine. Long hours, terrible working conditions, and hard-hard work — but no bonus.

It looks to me as though hard work has very little correlation with what one is entitled to. We have to look elsewhere to find justifications to what we consider our due.


Bonus Plans of Mice and Men

Our best-laid plans often go awry. We see it all the time at a personal level — accidents (both good and bad), deaths (both of loved ones and rich uncles), births, and lotteries all conspire to reshuffle our priorities and render our plans null and void. 사실, there is nothing like a solid misfortune to get us to put things in perspective. This opportunity may be the proverbial silver lining we are constantly advised to see. What is true at a personal level holds true also at a larger scale. The industry-wide financial meltdown has imparted a philosophical clarity to our profession — a clarity that we might have been too busy to notice, but for the dire straits we are in right now.

This philosophical clarity inspires analyses (and columns, 물론) that are at times self-serving and at times soul-searching. We now worry about the moral rectitude behind the insane bonus expectations of yesteryears, 예를 들어. The case in point is Jake DeSantis, the AIG executive vice president who resigned rather publicly on the New York Times, and donated his relatively modest bonus of a million dollars to charity. The reasons behind the resignation are interesting, and fodder to this series of posts.

Before I go any further, let me state it outright. I am going to try to shred his arguments the best I can. I am sure I would have sung a totally different tune if they had given me a million dollar bonus. Or if anybody had the temerity to suggest that I part with my own bonus, paltry as it may seem in comparison. I will keep that possibility beyond the scope of this column, ignoring the moral inconsistency others might maliciously perceive therein. I will talk only about other people’s bonuses. 결국, we are best in dealing with other people’s money. And it is always easier to risk and sacrifice something that doesn’t belong to us.


How Much is Your Time Worth?

I recently got a crazy idea. Suppose I tell you, “I will give you a ten-million-dollar job for a month. But I will have to kill you in two months.” 물론, you will have to know that I am serious. Let’s say I am an eccentric billionaire. Will you take the ten million dollars?

I am certain that most people will not take this job offer. 사실, there is a movie with Johnny Depp and Marlon Brando (IMDb tells me that it is The Brave) where Depp’s character actually takes up such an offer. Twenty-five thousand, 저는 믿습니다, was the price that he agreed upon for the rest of his life. For some of us, the price may be higher, but it is possible that there is a price that we will agree upon.

나에게, my price is infinite — I wouldn’t trade the rest of my life for any amount of money. What does it help me to have all the money in the world if I don’t have the time to spend it? 하지만, this stance of mine is neither consistent with what I do, nor fully devoid of hypocrisy. Hardly anything in real life is. If we say we won’t trade time for money, then how come we happily sell our time to our employers? Is it just that we don’t appreciate what we are doing? Or that our time is limited?

I guess the trade off between time and money is not straight forward. It is not a linear scale. If we have no money, then our time is worth nothing. We are willing to sell it for almost nothing. The reason is clear — it takes money to keep body and soul together. Without a bare minimum of money, there indeed is no time left to sell. As we make a bit of money, a bit more than the bare minimum, we begin to value time more. But as we make more money, we realize that we can make even more by selling more time, because the time is worth more now! This implicit vicious circle may be what is driving this crazy rat race that we see all around us.

Selling time is an interesting concept. We clearly do sell our time to those who pay us. Employees sell time to their employers. Entrepreneurs sell their time to the customers, and in deploying their businesses. But there is a fundamental difference between these two modes of selling. While employees sell their time once, businessmen sell their time multiple times. So do authors and actors. They spend a certain amount of time doing whatever they do, but the products they create (book, 사업, 영화, 윈도우 XP, songs etc.) are sold over and over again. That is why they can make their millions and billions while those who work for somebody else find it is very difficult to get really rich.

악취를 풍기는의 이메일 — 예

이메일은 지난 10 년간 기업의 통신 혁명. 미치는 영향의 대부분은 긍정적이다. 모든 인자 있습니다 귀하의 보스로부터 이메일, 예를 들어, 일반적인 통신 회의에 대한 공정한 대체입니다. 작은 팀에서, 이메일은 종종 모임을 절약하고 생산성을 향상.

때 의사 소통의 다른 모드에 비해 (전화, 음성 메일 등), 이메일은 통신 기업에 특히 적합하게하는 특성을 가지고. 그것은 키보드 뒤에 안전한 느낌을받는 사람 보낸 사람에게 거리의 정확한 양을 제공합니다. 보낸 사람은 언어와 프리젠 테이션을 연마 할 수있는 충분한 시간을 가져옵니다. 그는 한 번에 이메일을 여러 수신자에게 전송하는 옵션이 있습니다. 이러한 특성의 순 효과는 일반적으로 소심한 영혼이 강력한 이메일 인물이 될 수 있다는 것이다.

일반적으로 공격적인 영혼, 한편, stinkers로 알려져 있습니다 무엇 불쾌한 보낸 사람이 될 수 있습니다. Stinkers 굴욕을 입힐 것을 의미한다 이메일 아르.

요즘 이메일 통신의 중요성을 감안, 당신은 자신 stinkers의 어두운 매력의 유혹 찾을 수 있습니다. 당신이 할 경우, 여기에 악취를 풍기는 공예의 예술을 마스터의 첫 번째 단계는. 트릭은 거룩보다 네가 태도를 개발하고 높은 도덕적 수준을 가정하는 것입니다. 예를 들면, 당신은 그들의 겉만 번지르르 한 작업 팀과 함께 화가한다고 가정, 그들에게 사실을 강조 할 (조직의 몇 가지 핵심 명, 물론). 초보자는 뭔가를 작성하는 유혹을받을 수있다, “당신과 당신의 팀은 쪼그리고 모른다.” 그 유혹에 저항, 그 신인 이메일을 개최. 훨씬 더 만족스러운로 구성하는 것입니다, “나는 당신과 당신의 팀과 함께 앉아서 우리의 전문 지식을 공유하게 행복 할 것이다.” 이 탄저균 조성물은 미묘하게 당신의 뛰어난 지식을 보여줍니다.

이메일 더욱 미묘한 될 수 있습니다. 예를 들면, 당신은 어떤 문제 등에 관한 법률 고문에게 당신의 상사에게 상냥하게 할 수 있습니다, “천사 밟아 두려워에서 돌진 아무 문제 없습니다,” 당신이 그의 얼굴에 저 바보를 호​​출 관리하는 비밀 기쁨을!

카운터 stinkers는 이중 달콤한. 이메일 결투에 참여하는 동안, 당신의 최선의 희망은 악취를 풍기는에 사실 부정확성을 발견하는 것입니다. 당신이 있지만 명예 바인딩은 악취를 풍기는에 응답합니다, 침묵은 또한 효과적인 대응 될 수. 그것은 당신이 하나에 응답하는 데 시간이 너무 중요 악취를 풍기는 발견 신호를 보냅니다, 또는, 더, 당신은 실수로 읽지 않고 그것을 삭제.

악취를 풍기는 트랩을 조심. 당신은 도움이 관대 한 제안으로 문제에 작업 할 수 초대 이메일을받을 수 있습니다. 당신이 미끼 요청에 도움을 말해봐. 다음 이메일 (지구상의 거의 모든 사람에게 복사) 같은 것을 읽을 수 있습니다, “당신은 이전 메시지를 읽을 방해하는 경우,” (이메일을 참조는 10 일 전 보내 17 다른 사람과이 메일 그룹) “당신은 알 것이다…” 당신이 당신이로되어있는 것을 모르는 것을 의미하는 것이 얼마나 쉬운 참고, 당신은 중요한 메시지를 무시하는 습관에 있는지.

우리는 보낸 사람을 알고 이외의 악취를 풍기는 트랩에 대한 아무런 확신 방어가 없다. 보낸 사람은 자신의 악취를 풍기는 - 행복 처리를 위해 알고있는 경우, 의심과 그의 달콤한 제의 치료. 그가 마음의 변화를 가지고 있었고, 민법상을 치료하기로 결정했다 가능성은. 훨씬 더 가능성이 그가 당신보다는 더 많은 것을 즐길 수 뭔가를 설정하는 것입니다 것입니다!

하루의 끝에서, stinkers에 대해 너무 많이 걱정하지 마세요 당신은 수신 측에서 자신을 발견 할 경우. 당신의 얼굴에 미소를 유지하고 그들이 무엇을위한 stinkers를 인식 — 자아 여행.

이 게시물을 즐길, 당신은 또한 같은 것입니다 확실 해요:

  1. 사무실 서바이벌 가이드
  2. 라 세련


I have been doing a bit of geeky stuff lately — writing WordPress plugins. Okay, it is because I’m suffering from a terrible writer’s block.

You see, I’m supposed to be working on my next book. I foolishly promised a couple of chapters of The Principles of Quantitative Development to my commissioning editor at John Wiley & Sons within a month; now I find myself writing everything other than those darned chapters! Including plugins. Coming to think of it, writing those chapters wouldn’t be any less geeky, would it?

That made me wonder… We all started off as geeks, didn’t we? No use denying it. Remember how our teachers loved us, and the sexy cheerleaders, well, didn’t? Later in life, due to exigencies of circumstances, we may have tried to lose our techie halo and simulate a managerial posture. But, in our moments of panic, we go back to our geek roots. At least, I do.

You think you don’t? Well, check out these geek jokes. If you find them funny, chances are your roots are not too different from mine.

Heisenberg was driving down the highway when he was pulled over for speeding. The officer says, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg says, “No, but I do know where I am!”

Two Hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron!” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”

Geek Pickup Lines:

  • Tell me of this thing you humans call [dramatic pause] love.
  • If you turn me down now, I will become more drunk than you can possibly imagine.
  • They don’t call me Bones because I’m a doctor.
  • Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
  • What’s a nice girl like you doing in a wretched hive of scum and villainy like this?
  • You must be Windows 95 because you got me so unstable.
  • My ‘up-time’ is better than BSD.
  • I can tell by your emoticons that you’re looking for some company.
  • Is that an iPod mini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.
  • Want to see my Red Hat?
  • If you won’t let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.
  • You had me at “Hello World.”
  • Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
  • You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.
  • By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
  • Jedi Mind Trick: “This is the geek you’re looking for.” [Waves hand]
  • You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.
  • Have you ever Googled yourself?
  • How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
  • With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
  • What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this when there’s a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.
  • I’m attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:


A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z are represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

but A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

and B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

but look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.