Mga Archive ng kategorya,,en,Nai-publish ang aking mga haligi,,en,o malapit nang mailathala,,en,sa The Ngayon Paper,,en,Mga Haligi,,en,Trabaho at Buhay,,en,Ang Stress at isang Sense ng Proporsyon,,en,Hunyo,,en,Komento,,en,Paano natin mapamahalaan ang stress,,en,ibinigay na ito ay hindi maiiwasan sa pagkakaroon ng aming kumpanya,,en,Ang mga karaniwang taktika laban sa stress ay kasama ang ehersisyo,,en,yoga,,en,pagmumuni-muni,,en,mga pamamaraan sa paghinga,,en,reprioritizing pamilya atbp,,en,Upang magdagdag sa listahang ito,,en,Mayroon akong sariling lihim na sandata upang labanan ang stress na nais kong ibahagi sa iyo,,en,Ang mga sandata na ito ay maaaring masyadong makapangyarihan,,en,kaya gamitin ang mga ito nang may pag-aalaga,,en,Isa sa mga lihim kong taktika ay ang pagbuo ng isang proporsyon,,en,hindi nakakapinsala dahil maaaring tunog ito,,en,Ang proporsyon ay maaaring nasa mga tuntunin ng mga numero,,en,Magsimula tayo sa bilang ng mga indibidwal,,en,halimbawa,,en,Tuwing umaga,,en,pagdating namin sa trabaho,,en,nakikita namin ang libu-libong mga mukha na lumulutang,,en,halos lahat ng pupunta sa kani-kanilang mga trabaho,,en: French

Noong nag-aaral ako ng Pranses sa Marseilles,,en,Kinailangan kong isulat ang tinatawag nilang "redactions.,,en,Nagpasya akong isalin ang ilang mga biro na alam ko,,en,Ang mga maliit na redaction na ito ay isang malaking hit sa silid-aralan,,en,Sana nasiyahan ka rin sa kanila,,en,At kung ano ang nakakatawa Phaedrus,,en,at kung ano ang hindi nakakatawa,,en,kailangan nating tanungin ang sinuman na sabihin sa amin ang mga bagay na ito,,en,Ng pagdiriwang ng buhay,,en,kahit sa kamatayan,,en,naglalaman ang kategoryang ito ng ilan sa aking mga personal na post,,en,Malayalam ang aking katutubong wika,,en,Ang lahat ng mga post sa kategoryang ito ay interesado sa mga nagsasalita nito,,en,Ang ilan ay maaaring maging sa Malayalam,,en,Ang pilosopiya ay hindi gaanong malayo sa pisika,,en,Ito ay sa kanilang overlap na inaasahan kong mga tagumpay,,en,Ang pisika ang aking unang pag-ibig,,en,Naglalaman ang kategoryang ito ng mga post na pinakamalapit sa aking puso,,en,Dalawampung taon mula ngayon,,en,kung makakaligtas ang blog na ito,,en, I had to write what they callredactions.” I decided to translate some jokes that I knew. These little redactions were a big hit in the classroom. I hope you enjoy them too.

La chienne

[Another of my Frenchredactions,” this piece is a translation of a joke, which perhaps didn’t translate too well. I was told that the French version was in poor taste. Now, reading it again, I feel that the English version doesn’t fare much better. You be the judge!]

[In English first]

Once, an American was in England. In a public bus, he saw an English lady sitting with her little dog, occupying two seats. The bus was crowded and many passengers were standing. The smart American, inspired, asked the lady very nicely: “Ma’am, if we put your poodle on your lap, one of us standing could sit. Much appreciated.

To his surprise, the lady didn’t pay any attention to him. A little miffed, he repeated his request. The lady ignored him with a disdainful look. Americans are men of action, and don’t waste words (where guns and bombs would suffice, as we know). Embarrassed, and being quite American, he picked up the dog and threw it out the window and sat down in its place.

An English gentleman across the aisle was watching the whole exchange. He tut-tutted disapprovingly and said, “You Americans! Whatever you do, you do it wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the street. You hold your fork in the wrong hand. Wrong habits, wrong clothes, wrong manners! Now see what you have done!”

The American was on the defensive. “I didn’t do anything wrong. It was her fault, and you know it.

The English gent explained, “Yes my dear fellow, but you threw the wrong bitch out the window!”

Une fois, un Américain alla en Angleterre. Dans un bus de transport en commun, il aperçut une Anglaise et son petit chien assis, occupant deux sièges. Il y avait du monde dans le bus et des personnes qui se tenaient debout. L’Américain, étant malin, eut une bonne idée. Il demanda à l’Anglaise très poliment,
Madame, si vous mettiez votre chien sur vos genoux, une des personnes debout pourrait s’asseoir.

À son grand étonnement, l’Anglaise ne tint aucun compte de sa demande. Gênè, il répéta sa demande. L’Anglaise le regarda avec dédain et resta toujours désagréable. Les américains ne perdent pas de mots, ils sont des hommes d’action. Embarrassé et étant assez américain, il prit le chien, le jeta dehors du bus et s’assit.

Il y avait un Anglais en face qui remarqua tout ce qui se passait. Il dit,
Les Américains! Quoique vous fassiez, vous le faites mal! Dans la rue, vous conduisez du mauvais côté. Au diner, vous prenez la fourchette avec la mauvause main. Mauvaises habitudes, mauvaises coutumes, mauvaise morale! Et maintenant, regardez ce que vous avez fait.

L’Américain était sur la défensive,
Et qu’est-ce que j’ai fait? C’était sa faute, et vous le savez!”

L’Anglais lui répondit,
Oui, oui. Mais vous avez jeté la mauvaise chienne du bus!”

La pauvre famille

[English version below]

Je connaissais une petite fille très riche. Un jour, son professeur lui a demandé de faire une rédaction sur une famille pauvre. La fille était étonnée:

Une famille pauvre?! Qu’est-ce que c’est ça?”

Elle a demandé à sa mère:

Maman, Maman, qu’est-ce que c’est une famille pauvre? Je n’arrive pas à faire ma rédaction.

La mère lui a répondu:

C’est simple, chérie. Une famille est pauvre quand tout le monde dans la famille est pauvre

La petite fille a pensé:

“Ah! Ce n’est pas difficile

et elle a fait sa rédaction. Le lendemain, le professeur lui a dit:

Bon, lis-moi ta rédaction.

Voici la réponse:

Une famille pauvre. Il était une fois une famille pauvre. Le père était pauvre, la mère était pauvre, les enfants étaient pauvres, le jardinier était pauvre, le chauffeur était pauvre, les bonnes étaient pauvres. Voilà, la famille était très pauvre!”

In English

I once knew a rich girl. One day, her teacher at school asked her to write a piece on a poor family. The girl was shocked. “What in the world is a poor family?”

So she asked her mother, “Mummy, mummy, you’ve got to help me with my composition. What is a poor family?”

Her mother said, “That’s really simple, sweetheart. A family is poor when everybody in the family is poor.

The rich girl thought, “Aha, that is not too difficult,” and she wrote up a piece.

The next day, her teacher asked her, “Well, let’s hear your composition.

Here is what the girl said, “A Poor Family. Once upon a time, there was a poor family. The father was poor, the mother was poor, the children were poor, the gardener was poor, the driver was poor, the maids were poor. So the family was very poor!”

Les fermiers

[English version in pink below]

Les fermiers aux États Unis ont de la chanceils ont de grandes fermes. Ce n’est pas le cas en Mexique. Mais, le Mexicain de qui je vais vous parler, était assez content de sa ferme. Une fois, un fermier texan est venu chez notre Mexicain. Ils ont commencé à discuter de leur ferme. Le Mexicain a dit :

Vous voyez, Señor, ma ferme, elle est assez grande. Au-delà de la maison jusqu’à la rue, et jusqu’à cette maison-là.

Le Texan l’a trouvé drôle.

Tu penses qu’elle est grande?”

Notre Mexicain le pensait. A-t-il dit :

Si Señor, et la vôtre, est-elle si grande?”

Le Texan lui a expliqué :

Cher ami, viens chez moi un de ces jours. Prends ma bagnole après le petit déjeuner et conduis-la toute la journéedans n’importe quelle direction. Tu n’arriveras pas à sortir de ma ferme. Tu piges?”

Le Mexicain a pigé.

Si Señor, je comprends. J’avais une voiture comme ça, il y a deux ans. Heureusement, un stupido l’a achetée!”

In English now:

American farmers are lucky. They have huge ranches, unlike their Mexican counterparts. But this Mexican farmer of our little story is quite pleased with his farm.

Once, a Texan rancher visited our Mexican and they started talking about their farms.

The Mexican said, “You see, Señor, I got a rather big farm. From that house over there all the way to the street and up to that house.

The Texan found this funny. “So you think your farm is big, aye?”

Clearly, our Mexian thought so. So he siad, “Si , how about you, you got such a big farm?”

The Texan decided to get pedantic. “My dear friend,” he said, “you come to my ranch one day. Have a nice little breakfast in the morning, take my car, and drive. Whichever way you like. Till evening. You will still be within my farm. You get it now?”

The Mexican got it.

Si Señor, I understand. I had a car like that once. Luckily I managed to sell it to one stupido!”

Les chapatis

[English Version below]

En Inde, on mange ce qui s’appelle deschapatis”. C’est un peu comme les baguettes en France.

Une fois en Inde, deux amis se sont rencontrés. L’un a dit à l’autre :

Dis-moi, combien de chapatis tu peux manger quand ton estomac est vide?”

L’autre (qui s’appalait Ramu) a réfléchi un peu. Et puis, il a répondu : “Boff, je dirais six.

Tu parles! Non, tu ne peux pas en manger six!”

Si, je peux. On parie? Cent roupies?”

Marché conclu. Le soir, ils sont allés au restaurant. Ils ont commandé des chapatis. Notre ami Ramu, avec un peu de difficulté, a réussi à en manger six. Et il a dit : “Voilà, donne-moi mes cent roupies.

L’autre lui a répondu : “Mais non! Tu n’as pas mangé les six chapatis quand ton estomac était vide. Après le premier, il n’était plus vide!”

Ramu était un peu bête, mais il avait un bon sens de l’humour et cette blague lui a bien plu. Il est rentré chez lui et il a appelé tout le monde : “Venez écouter ce qui m’est arrivé aujourd’hui. Je vais vous raconter une super blague.

Il a demandé a son frère : “Dis-moi, combien de chapatis est-ce que tu peux manger quand ton estomac est vide.

Son frère a dit : “Boff, dix.

Ramu était très deçu.

“Ah! raté! Si tu m’avais dit six, j’avais une super blague pour vous!”

In English:

Indians eat a bread known as Chapatis, much like the ubiquitous baguettes in France.

Once, two Indian friends ran into each other. By way of conversation, one of them asked the other, “Tell me, how many chapatis do you think you can eat on an empty stomach?”

The other friend, Ramu, thought for a moment and said, “Well, I would say six.

The first guy was incredulous. “No way man!” he said, “no way you can eat six.

Of course I can! Want to put some money on it? One hundred rupees?”

With the deal struck, our friends went to a restaurant in the evening. Ramu started putting away chapatis. With a bit a trouble, he managed to eat six. He then said triumphantly, “Pay up sucker, gimme my hundred rupees

The other guy replied, “Hold your horses, cowboy! You didn’t eat all six of them on an empty stomach. After the first one, your stomach wasn’t empty!”

Ramu had a good sense of humor and enjoyed the joke although it was on him. He hurried back home and called everybody. “Listen guys, something really funny happened today. I’m going to tell you the best joke you ever heard!”

He then asked his brother, “Tell me, how many chapatis can you eat on an empty stomach?”

The brother said, “Well, ten.

Ramu was crestfallen. He said, “Dammit, if you had just told me six, I had such a great joke for you!”