Are You a Malayali?

If you can fit four passengers in the front seat of an Ambassador taxi, while in the back there are eight passengers and two children with their heads sticking out the window, chances are, you are a Mallu going to attend your cousin’s wedding.

If you can run, ride a 100 cc motorbike without wearing a helmet and play football all while wearing a lungi tied halfmast, Malayali status!

If your late father left you a part of an old house as your inheritance, and you turned it into “chaya kada,” yes, you’re a Malayali.

If you have more than 5 relatives working in Gulf, 大时间马拉雅里,,hi,如果你有话,,en,金竹摩尔,,ny,Jinchu Mol,,zh-CN,写在Omni汽车的后窗上,,en,是,,en,马拉耶利,,ml,如果您称丈夫为,,en,凯蒂永,,hi,伊斯蒂扬,,hi,皮勒鲁德·阿潘,,ml,你猜怎么了,,en,你是中央Travancore叙利亚基督徒马拉雅里,,en,如果每个星期天您家门口都停着泰米尔人,,en,熨衣服,,en,你是中产阶级的马拉雅里人,,en,如果您的工作地点有三个以上的员工工会,,en,然后再问,,en,你确实是马拉雅里人,,en,如果您已经投票通过了未通过四年级的首席部长,则不再要求,,en,你是马来西亚人,,en,如果您在美国至少有两个亲戚在卫生行业工作,,en,马拉雅里,,ml,如果您每周都虔诚地购买彩票,,en…

If you have the words “Chinchu Mol + Jinchu Mol” written on the rear window of your Omni car, yes, you are a Malaayli.

If you refer to your husband as “Kettiyon, ithiyan, pillerude appan,” guess what — you’re a central Travancore Syrian Christian Malayali.

If you have a Tamilian parked in front of your house every Sunday, ironing your clothes, chances are a you are a Middle Class Malayali.

If you have more than three employee trade unions at your place of work, then ask no more, you are indeed a Malayali.

If you have voted into power a Chief Minister who has not passed the 4th grade then ask no further, YOU ARE A MALAYALI.

If you have at least two relatives working in the US in the health industry , yes! Malayali!

If you religiously buy a lottery ticket every week, 那你就在马拉亚里地区,,en,如果您形容一个女人为,,en,查拉库,,ar,是的,,en,如果您经常称香蕉为,,en,线程,,mg,或披萨,,en,撒尿,,is,你是马拉亚里人。,,en,如果您使用椰子油代替精制植物油,并且无法弄清家人中为什么患有先天性心脏病,,en,你可能是马拉雅里人,,en,如果您要去当地剧院看电影,而您的妻子则戴着她父母送给她的所有金饰,,en,你是新婚的马拉雅里人,,en,如果您和您的妻子及三个孩子在您周日的最佳装扮中,出门在Kayikka的一家餐馆吃Biriyani,,,en,cc Bajaj mobike,,id,您是来自科钦的向上移动的马拉雅里语,,en,如果您对高级美食的想法是卡帕和咖喱面,,en,然后,,en,你是一个马拉雅里人,,en!

If you describe a woman as “charrakku,” yep, Malayali!

If you constantly refer to banana as “benana” or pizza as “pissa,” you’re a Malayali..

If you use coconut oil instead of refined vegetable oil and can’t figure out why people in your family have congenital heart problems, you might be a Malayali.

If you are going out to see a movie at the local theater with your wifey wearing all the gold jewellry gifted to her by her parents, you are a newly married Malayali.

If you and your wife and three children dress up in your Sunday best and go out to have biriyani at Kayikka’s on a 100 cc Bajaj mobike, you an upwardly mobile Malayali from Cochin.

If your idea of haute cuisine is kappa and meen curry, then, yes, you are a Malayali.

如果早餐吃牛肉puttu,,en,午餐吃牛肉奥拉图,,en,和咖喱牛肉配‘borotta,,en,当晚餐,,en,是的,,en,绝对是马拉利亚利,,en,如果您的名字是威斯隆,,en,你妻子的名字叫宝贝,,en,你叫你的女儿威尔比,,en,毫无疑问,,en,你是一个标准的马拉雅里语,,en,如果您街区的大多数房屋被漆成黄褐色,,en,荧光绿,,en,和明亮的粉红色,,en,绝对是马拉普拉姆马拉雅里,,ml,如果您用毛巾绑住头,突然听到这首歌的喧闹声,,en,库塔纳丹·旁加耶,,ml,三杯托迪之后,,en,那你就是铁杆马拉雅里,,en,如果您将开胃菜和含酒精的饮料称为,,en,感动,,en,那么你就是一个helluva Malayali,,en,如果当地的玩具店老板通过您的宠物名认识您并且您给他打电话,,en,Porinju Chetta,,ml,暗笑,,id,那你才是真正的马拉雅里人,,en, beef olathu for lunch, and beef curry with ‘borotta’ for dinner, yeah, definitely Malalyali.

If your name is Wislon, and your wife’s name is Baby, and you name your daughter Wilby, have no doubts at all, you are a standard Malayali.

If most of the houses on your block are painted puke yellow, fluorescent green, and bright pink, definitely Malappuram Malayali.

If you tie a towel around your head and burst into a raucous rendition of the song “Kuttanadan Punjayile” after having three glasses of toddy, then you are a hardcore Malayali.

If you call appetizers served with alcoholic beverages as “touchings,” then you are one helluva Malayali.

If the local toddy shop owner knows you by your pet name and you call him “Porinju Chetta” (kekekekekek), then you are true Malayali.

如果你生病了,老婆擦,,en,比克斯,,en,进入你的鼻孔,给你,,en,库鲁穆拉库拉萨姆,,ml,与chakkara,,en,奶奶的食谱,,en,帮助缓解症状,,en,该死的,,en,你是马拉雅里人,,en,如果您不需要上述任何说明,,en,您知道自己是真正的麦考伊,,en,蓝血马来西亚,,en,跟随沙拉,,so,加长,,ro,马卢,,en,贸易联盟,,en,马拉雅拉姆档案馆,,en “Bicks” into your nostrils and gives you “kurumulaku rasam” with chakkara, (grandma’s recipe) to help relieve your symptoms, damn!! You’re Malayali.



3 thoughts on “Are You a Malayali?”

  1. I like the comments except for this

    If you use coconut oil instead of refined vegetable oil and can’t figure out why people in your family have congenital heart problems, you might be a Malayali.
    Coconut has no cholestrol.
    That was a propaganda by the Palm Oil traders of an ASEAN country which also ruined the Coconut cultivation in the Philippines.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Raghu.

      Yeah, we are constantly bombarded with these strange surveys and studies and conclusions that they come up with. I was planning to write a post on it. When I get around to it….

  2. Manoj,

    Great blog.!! Appreciate the sense of humor. 🙂

    I Was searching in google about the word Mallu -and 90% of search results showed some sort of actress pics cladsemi-clad and void 🙂 and their details

    Got this blog when I searched formalayalee blog”.

    Seems to be an old bolg..but good nevertheless 🙂

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